Adopting a cat is a great and fun thing! You get to bring the new baby home! And love on them! And they’re yours! It’s a high unlike anything else in the world. Unless, as I imagine, you are a parent who’s actually brought home a human baby. Maybe one day I will know this feeling. Until then! Your cats are your babies in my eyes.
Keep in mind that not only are you new to this cat, but so is your smell, the smells at your home, the other things at your home and living in your home, and the windows and the outside on the other side of those windows, and just everything. Your cat is going to be so overwhelmed and overstimulated that it might understandably want to hide so that it can stare at a wall or underside of a dresser for the first day or so. This is very normal and very okay.
If you’ve read my article on How to Introduce Your Cat to New Environments, then you know to keep their food, litter, and water in easy access to their hiding spot. Since this cat is not accustomed to your home and hasn’t yet learned to trust you, practicing the 3 T’s may not be applicable in this situation. If this cat is scared enough that it doesn’t want to come out and spend time with you, that is okay, and it’s your turn to leave it alone. In this case, it needs to calm down, know that the sounds are going to be normal and repetitive. It will need to suss out what the new routine of noises will be to ensure they're not scary, and that it will be okay.
For a new cat, routine is the biggest thing. Having a routine will help them to know that food will always come, litter will always be there and changed, and that water will always be readily available. Routine means that they will start to know your schedule and smell and look forward to your sounds of coming closer instead of fearing the brand new sound of you coming closer. These are all small instances where the feeling behind the sounds and smells will turn from new and scary to normal and even welcomed.
For a scaredy cat, it can take a full week for things to feel safe enough to come out of hiding. Since cats are normally nocturnal, as long as you sleep at a regular routine, they will learn to come out and eat and use the litter and explore while you’re sleeping, or even when you're gone. Let this happen, but on a small scale. Let it be just the bedroom at first, and then as they come out of hiding and become a little braver, let them explore the rest of the place on their own terms, and keep the bedroom door open so they may retreat when it becomes too much.
Feliway is a great product to use in this situation. This product is a synthetic pheromone meant to smell like what a mother cat would put off to make her kittens know things are safe. If you get the diffuser, this will allow this scent to permeate the area and let the new cat know that things are going to be okay. I have a link below to this product on Amazon.
If you have no other pets in the home, then following these steps and being sure to keep to your normal routine should be enough. Keep in mind that you don’t actually want to be quieter or change anything. Go about your business as you would otherwise and make the normal noise you would otherwise. Your kitty will get used to your sounds and smells and start to come out when they’re ready.
If, however, this is a house with pets already in it, then you want to make sure that this space you start them out in has no other pets. Keeping them apart will give your new cat the safety it needs to explore not only your scents and the house’s scents, but also the other pets’ scents as well. Being that cats are already overwhelmed and overstimulated so easily, this separation and safety becomes even more important.
What I like to do after a day or so (as long as the new cat has been using the litter box with no issues, and the cat is already up to date on shots and has been de-wormed, etc,) switch out the litter boxes. This allows each cat the opportunity to safely smell the others. Interestingly for cats, smells that are not part of a group smell very much like OUTSIDE SCARY INTRUDER. However, once smells start to mingle and begin to make a new pack smell of the whole group, it becomes a familiar smell and one to gather toward for safety as a group. By switching out litters, this gives them that chance to start mingling and mixing smells without the first scary encounter of OTHER SMELL ABORT.
Once your new cat has explored the whole space and looks interested in exploring more outside the door/exit, let them! Give the other animals the space to see them emerge. You’ll want to supervise it the entire time of course, but from a sitting and relaxed position. If you have a pet that is prone to aggression, put them in another enclosed space where they won’t interfere with this first immersion. You want your new cat to feel safe and brave.
Let everyone kind of get a glance of everyone else. Judge where the tension is and let it go for a while. If the new cat creeps about the place at a good pace ignoring your upset established babies, this is a good sign. Let the established babies be upset. They’ll get over it.
When I am letting a cat know that they’re doing something I do not like and that I want them to stop, I snap my fingers and "tss tss" at them. I might do this if they hiss or growl at the new cat as they explore.
Once tensions get to the point where you are yourself stressed, get the new cat (if they will let you pick them up) and cuddle them and tell them they’re such a good baby and take them back into the room and shut the door and spend a few minutes with them before leaving.
Give everyone the time to settle back down and calm down from their dramatics. Do this as many times as feels right and is lined up to everyone’s curiosities. Remember, this is about the cats and their getting used to one another, the new smells, and the idea of a new group smell mingling. This is not about you and your nerves and what makes you feel scared about what might happen. Cats need this adjustment period to feel out where they belong together.
For instance, I have learned that even though Prince Fredward is so vocal as to be eternally annoying, he’s definitely more bark than his bite. He will yell and complain and cry that a baby kitten is in his huge space bubble, but if the baby gets to close he will only swat without extended claws. He will snap but without actually touching or without hurting with his teeth (not that he has enough to hurt in the first place!), and he is pretty surprisingly cowardly for such a big talker.
As long as you know what your established babies are like, you can keep an eye out for if the behavior is within their normal com-plaining or if they’re acting in such a way as to surprise you. I once had a client kitty who stayed with me for several months. Unfortunately, he looked just like a cat that had been super aggressive. Prince Fredward seemed to see the coat colors and decide that this cat must also be aggressive, and he attacked.
My cowardly gentle yet grumpy old man actually chased and attacked this cat in an aggressive way and used claws. I was so taken aback and appalled and embarrassed! And it was right in front of the client! I knew then I had to do a much gentler and slower introduction than I might have with other cats.
Even though that client kitty was with us for so long, Fredward never really accepted him. I often had to clap my hands to snap them out of starting aggressive growling with one another. And that client had been the sweetest thing. I would have guessed I’d never see him be aggressive at all. He was so happy and eager to meet any other kitties! But even with just one unsuccessful visitor, Fredward now does not trust any cats of this coloring.
I had gotten overly comfortable in my introductions with cats, and this one was too aggressive and must have needed a much slower one. This is why it is so important to supervise those first emergencies and to make sure to know your established babies’ reactions in stressful situations.
A well-adjusted cat will of course react much better, and if you keep track of my tips in my article How to Create a Well-Adjusted Cat, you can do the work before bringing home a new cat to help make that adjustment an easier one.
Once tensions aren’t so high during these emergencies, let the new cat start to explore while you stay in one spot reading, watching TV, or otherwise not doing much of anything so that they can keep coming and going using both you and that first space as a return base. When this exploring in the evenings is also a normal thing, start to feed everyone in the same space. It might take a few mealtimes to make sure kitties learn their new spots, but routine will help make this a normal thing.
Also keep in mind that all cats have their own pace. So you might be able to do these things out of order because all of the cats are good to eat together that first night, or you might be barely coaxing the new cat out of the space on the 7th day. Just keep at it with a normal routine and normal 3 T’s of your established babies while you get to know your new cat and get them to trust you.
As you of course get everyone used to each other, make sure you’re spending time with the new cat in the space alone. Use bonding techniques such as grooming and sleeping and playtime to get them to trust you and learn that you and they are part of the same group. Your scents will start to mingle just as much as all the other exploring and litter switching will, and things will come together.
For any questions about details in any of these topics, book a time with me, The Cat Granny, for advice and behavioral help with your feline! You can call me at 909-741-6335, email at thecatgranny@gmail.com, or fill out the Contact Us form on the website.
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